Today I don’t feel like doing anything

imagela la la la la I just want to lay in my electrically warmed bed. Ha ha. Which is exactly where I am dictating this post. Lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t be bothered.  It’s not an angry kinda feeling though (mostly). It’s a good feeling.  I know I can’t really stay in bed all day.  But  I am taking control of things I’d rather do & snatching little moments like this.  Maybe I’m just feeling more relaxed, finally. Maybe after a year of being at home with my baby I can finally accept I don’t have to do all the things I think I ‘should’ do. Yesterday my kitchen was a huge mess, usually this would bother me and I would feel drawn to clean it up, however I was able to just leave it and do other things I kind of got a kick out of it laughing to myself about what a pigsty I was living in.  Come to think of it, it’s messy again now.

In the early days with my new baby, people told me many times don’t worry about the house, all you have to do is look after your baby, but I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t not care & it bothered me.  Everything felt out of control & was.  I had a lot of trouble accepting my limitations.  Mess can be a trigger to Depression & Anxiety.  One thing you can do to help someone struggling with these issues is to clean up more!  Seriously, it helps.

I’m finding when I’m able to let go and just ponder around, other things get done. Each morning this week, I take my one year old outside with her little work boots on and we go down to the chickens to let them out. I poke around in my veggie garden and she walks around exploring. I’m spending less time worrying about the house and chores.  They will get done eventually.  I tidied the kitchen at about 4pm.

Of course there are always  be things that must be done.  I really must get up. get dressed. take  husband to work, Super girl to school, get car registration check done today and look after my little treasure.  Pets must be fed, Chooks released, at least some chores done and finally work this evening.

So although I’d rather lay here talking to you I will get out of this lovely warm bed and start my day knowing I have a choice about what I want to do if I can’t be bothered doing somethings I just won’t!