This mess

I do not like the company of my sadness, my hurt , these thoughts.

They want to swirl around like a whirlpool, pulling me down.

It becomes physical, my head aches, my eyes hurt.

Tears are an unusual relief, but there is a river more I can’t reach.  A gate holds them back.

I search for a way out.  How can I alleviate my discomfort?  Get away from myself…

 

I could turn to alcohol, there is none in the house.  Or another substance, but I don’t.

Food is my vice & it makes me sick.

 

I see beauty in my daughters faces, in their hearts, in their entire being.  It lightens me for a moment.

 

I see the mess in the kitchen & I slip backwards…

 

But as the kitchen is cleaned, the feelings slowly decrease.  They are still there, but less..

A craving passing?

~

90’s music  & singing

Cuddles from my girls

Chatter

Lying in bed with Super girl talking openly about Drugs – a great conversation.

Some mindless T.V.

My head on my husband’s lap as he strokes my hair

And finally, thankfully, sleep

 

I can handle this!

sunset duck

4 thoughts on “This mess

  1. Have you tried mindfulness meditation.? There was a story on the ABC the other night about it, or any form of meditation may help.

    1. Yes I love mindfulness Barb, I think it’s the best treatment for Anxiety! And meditation does help xx I will try to watch that program, it sounds good!

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