Sometimes I wish this…
Some might read that line & think – “No Megan, you don’t have to wish,!” And I must have some bitch in me as that thought makes me laugh!
The true definition of a bitch: A female dog, capable of breeding.
We have one. She’s strong, rough, tough & solid. She has a mean, loud, deep bark. She is pushy, demanding what she needs & getting it. She is jealous when my husband touches me & will come over to stake her claim. Female dogs protect their young as their number one priority. Our girl is not a true bitch as she has been de-sexed but you get the picture.
She’s also adorable & loyal. She is excited to see us – every single time. She loves to exercise, loves to run & play, loves her food, any food. She is a part of our family & we love her.
It’s not that I want to be a female dog. Although clearly it’s not all that bad (if you have a good home). The word has been totally misrepresented, as many other words are. A bitch these days is a derogatory word. A word easily thrown around & not meant to describe a nice person.
So why do I wish to be a bitch? Well it’d be easier, I wouldn’t get hurt or offended so easily, I wouldn’t be so sensitive, I wouldn’t care as much…
The other morning my lovely man got up early to our baby at my usual time of 6:00am. I had been up at 4:30am. He was kind, (he’s not a morning person). I slept until an unusual 8:30am for me & then got up. I did wake before that but kept letting myself drift back to sleep – it was heavenly. (It did cross my mind that I should get up & assist him but I ignored that annoying thought). When I got up I said – ‘thank you for letting me sleep.’ He was silent… A bitch really wouldn’t have thanked – she would have expected it was her right to sleep. He didn’t have a fun morning, but I did!
I care a lot about the people I love. I often do things just to be nice to them. I will make my husband’s breakfast, coffee & sometimes even his lunch to help him get to work on time (not every morning). I do little things for my daughter’s all the time, to make life nicer. I will go out of my way to help family & friends. Most of the time I’m happy to & it is no problem. Sometimes I’m not, sometimes I get sick of caring for others & just want to look after myself. Occasionally I want to lock myself away in a room & not talk to anyone. I want to be by myself & look after my needs only. It can be tiring being a Mum, friend, sister, wife, daughter.
My conclusion is, it’s okay to be a bit of a bitch, but I’ll make my own meaning thank you very much! It’s ok to look after yourself & expect others to support & look after you too.
It’s ok to take the extra sleep I need. It’s fair enough if I sometimes need a break & to stop doing so much. It’s ok be a little tougher, to stand up for myself, my kids, my friends. I’m actually being a strong independent woman. So I’m going to continue to be a bit of a bitch sometimes, when it suites me, but mostly I’m just going to be me.