Grief & Loss

Death is all around us. As much as we dislike talking about it, unfortunately it’s true.

One month ago my close friend’s Nan passed away. My she rest/ party in peace!

It’s a sad day when your Grandparent leaves this world. Very sad. Grandparents hold a position like no other. They have known you since before you were born because they raised your parent. They have been interested in you & your entire life! A grandparent is an influential part of your history. They love you like no other & take delight in you because you are theirs and a part of them.

On the weekend I ran into someone who told me her husband has terminal cancer & doesn’t have much longer to live. Their son is the same age as my oldest daughter, 12.

I ran into someone else who told me her husband had died 1 year ago from Cancer also, after a 6 year battle. Life can be so cruel.

On the weekend my sister celebrated a 13th birthday of a little boy who is no longer here. They ate his favourite things, dressed up in his favourite colour & with close friends did lots of fun things to celebrate him. What a nice tradition.

I cannot understand the Buddhist philosophy of trying not to get too attached to people (or things) & how you could possibly be okay when someone close dies. I agree with not getting too attached to things, but not people. It’s not realistic. We just can’t help it.

People were made to love, to be close & to share our lives with others. Love is an incredibly strong force.

I still miss my Nan & Grandma who both died over 15 years ago, I am still influenced by them. I enjoy talking about them & sharing memories with my family. I have things in my house that belonged to each of them. I have a cardigan I wear that was my Nan’s. I feel close to her in it, I sit on my Grandmas recliner daily to feed my baby, it feels like she’s with me. These are important in my life. I believe we can learn so much from our loved ones even long after they have gone.

Today I just want to acknowledge death, grief, loss and the difficulties people who are left behind go through daily.  Sending you a hug & strength.

How do you remember special people you have lost?


8 thoughts on “Grief & Loss

  1. I think of all the people I lost and all the folks I can’t stand are still here. Stressful and mind boggling. Stay strong. You don’t get over it. You just learn how to survive without them.

  2. Thank you for sharing Sally, I often think similar thoughts about my Nan.

    I love the words you’ve written about your sister and your lovely real sisterly memories. It must be so hard without her. I love your Tatoo too and how you can hold your arm, like you are holding her arm. She sounds like another feisty similar, but different version of you.


  3. Life is far too short and cruel for many people, today is actually the birthday of my fiances father. A very sad day indeed! xx

    Kez |

  4. Thank you so much Meg, I hope I will be here for many more moons, to see our young ones grow up to become that special person I know they can be. After all at the end of the day life is what we make it, we keep going, and look forward to tomorrow. xx

  5. Oh darling, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You know that I totally understand what you are going through. My uncle also passed just barely a month ago and he was my dad’s only confidant in his chaotic life. It was my first to see him sob. That small whimper broke through my stone cold facade as I try my best to be strong and to be indifferent. I don’t want to experience that pain that I felt when my grandfather died but I guess grief is one of the reasons why we are human. We feel.
    My sympathies for you and your family. I will not say that everything is alright when it clearly is not. What I will say is that you are not alone. Ever.

  6. What a beautiful post.

    I remember my grandparents, particularly my grandmother. She’s been gone for 8 years now, and the way I remember her is in my genetically inherited similarities to her. Sometimes I think: I am like this, because Nan was like this. And this is a good thing because my Nan was awesome.

    I remember my sister, who died from cancer just over a year ago. I remember her every day because I share 50% of her DNA. She was like me, but not like me. She was determined, kind, strong, visionary, intelligent, and disturbingly organised. She was also highly intolerant. I share some of these qualities good and bad, but in different measures. I also remember her because I chose to have her name tattooed large and proud on my left bicep. She is always with me. I remember her too because she has a 9 year old daughter, who I love like my own daughter and welcome into my home as often her daddy can spare her.

  7. Thank you Barbra sharing. You have lost so many, I can’t even imagine how difficult it has been for you. I love your attitude and appreciation for the present moment and all you have. We are blessed to have you xxx

  8. I remember all of those whom I have lost daily. It is lovely to be able to talk to others about them. It helps to do this. As I have lost my grandparents, parents, all of my 6 siblings, my first husband, friends etc. I find it hard at times to realise that I am now the “matriarch” of my family, a position that I did not want to have for many years to come if at all. But as I am the youngest by quite a few years, I guess it was inevitable. I was told by a niece that I have to live for many more years for all of those who have passed, but to also remember to live for myself and enjoy life. This I do, but I also find it hard at times to think they have all passed away. Don’t get me wrong, as I am very happy, and incredibly lucky to have a fantastic husband, children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. I have been incredibly blessed to have had 2 wonderful husbands, so many unfortunately do not have one who treat them so well. But it is still with sadness that one looks back, and thinks how wonderful it would be, to be able to pick up the phone to chat for awhile. I am Lucky to be close to nieces, who are more like good friends. One especially, who is like a close sister. I know I, and my family are being watched over by those who have gone, and I find comfort in that. Watching our grandchildren grow and become such special young people fills ones heart with gratitude. Our eldest is 21 and the youngest 19 months, 10 grandchildren in all, and another special girl who is another grandchild really. My husband and I also have a goddaughter who is 10, who gives us the biggest hugs and tells us how much she loves us. She is the daughter of one of my goddaughters. So even though there is sadness for all those who have gone, I am so lucky to have so much love in my life. Forever Grateful. BA

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